OWEN JENNINGS: Cop30 Ironies

France’s President Macron led the charge for putting taxes on aircraft flights at Cop30 in Belem, Brazil.  Aircraft are “killing the planet” with their emissions, apparently.  The same day Air France announced its new "La Premiere" cabin -- the first update since 2014.  Designed for long-haul Boeing 777s, the "suites" will feature five windows, an armchair and a chaise longue that converts into a bed.

That shouldn’t rock the bank balance of the bourgeoisie too greatly.

Only 317 private jets flew into Brazil for this year’s gab session.  It was well down on the 1,200 that usually grace the COP meetings.  Did some lower their dignity and hitch a ride with their Monaco neighbour?

Or, maybe, the thought that a chunk of Amazon jungle was cleared just for the conference stuck in their craw? 

The Maldives have it sorted.  You know; those islands that are supposed to be underwater now but are still building international airports.  They charge an exit tax on Business Class passengers of $200.  It helps pay for the snorkels when holding Cabinet meetings underwater telling the world about their ghastly plight as rising sea levels bring even more distress.

"Properly designed aviation taxes can raise predictable revenue for climate and development finance, while reinforcing fairness and solidarity.”  Yep, that should get a few thousand booked into COP31 destined for the next exotic venue.  We could send our Māori dance group again.  They must have helped get an auspicious outcome at Belem.

COP30 launched two new initiatives, a Global Implementation Accelerator and the “Belem Mission to 1.5” to enhance and speed the implementation of countries’ NDCs and national adaptation plans (NAPs) and keep 1.5 degrees C within reach.  Wow, that’s a pretty big deal.  Pity they didn’t mention fossil fuels – not once. Um, I thought that was the big issue that had to be dealt to?

It is bit like going to a bull fight and having no bulls.

But they did agree on a schedule of meetings in various centres around the world over the next 12 months.  That’s progress.  Should save a degree or two.

Negotiators worked really hard over the two weeks between dinners and tours to create a set of 59 indicators across seven sectors, such as water, agriculture and health, including on finance, capacity building and technology transfer. The list included considerations such as gender and human rights.  Imagine the travesty if “gender rights” were left off.  That would be a recipe for us having to sweat through another couple of degrees of rising temperature, surely.

Then the irony.  The elite technocrats running the whole show from the backroom significantly altered the 59 indicators in the final report back session.  All that effort, all those tears, all the hard negotiations aimed at fixing the world’s problems and some faceless bureaucrats kill it stone dead.

The wordsmiths were fully stretched.  How do you say “we achieved significant progress and created great camaraderie and agreement” when there is sweet nothing to report.  How do you keep those perennial conference goers from Greenpeace positive and focused on saving the planet when they head for the airport with not a single victory, not a step forward to boast of, not even the tiniest chink in the bastion of that capitalist energy stronghold.  

So, it was “até a próxima!”, “see you next time”, nothing achieved but those Chilean wines were absolutely fabulous and the camarão na moranga was unforgettable.  Already excited about COP31 in Turkey.  Imagine seeing the Hagia Sophia or the Topkapi Palace.  Ah, the baklava and the kebabs. 

Got enough airpoints for an upgrade now, so will find out if Turkish Airways have a first class.  Want to arrive fresh, ready for some more tough talk. 

Must try harder to get fossil fuels on the agenda, too.

Owen Jennings, former ACT MP